Is your unsupportive spouse draining your marriage and your business? If you have a spouse who is supportive of your business dreams, you are so lucky! Spouses come in all shapes and sizes when it come to support.
My husband hasn’t always been my biggest business fan, in fact when I first got started with my network marketing business, my husband was not very happy.
He didn’t like the business model. He didn’t love that I ‘had to’ ask people to join me in the business. He told me that he’d felt “deceived’ when he got to “one of those meetings”. I hate the bait and switch too. One time, I was invited to a meeting where I was told that Christians got together and shared testimonials. It turned out, it was “one of those” meetings where they just gave a presentation on how I should be doing their business to grow God’s kingdom. I couldn’t believe it!
He thought only the top level people could make good money. He told me “name one person who’s made significant enough money to do it full time and well off!” At first, I didn’t know anyone, but right after I got started I knew my own upline was doing well. One of them even came to my house to hold a meeting and I introduced her to my husband “Here is one who makes big bucks doing what you said wouldn’t work!” Even that didn’t sway him…. he replied “good for her!” which implied “not for us” to me.
He didn’t like the time it took away from my family. What I loved about my business is that it could be done on nights and weekends. He DIDN’T LOVE that. In fact, he gave me a lot of guilt trips.
He’s supportive now….. after several years of me plugging along with the business and getting results, he has come around and supports what I do. Deep down, I know he wanted me to be happy and do something I love, but it took some time for him to see the ROI. My first big check came while I was on vacation… that helped! (I must preface by saying, though, that deep inside, I knew he wanted me to be happy with whatever I chose, it wasn’t to a point of breaking our relationship nor quitting my business.)
3 Things That Will Help Your Unsupportive Spouse Understand Your Business
1. Communication is key.
My husband is my best friend, but he didn’t like what I was doing. Every time I talked about my business, we ended up arguing. I felt angry and sad. And so did my husband. But the more I was able to speak respectfully about my business, the more my husband was open to hearing about it.
Show Love, Respect and Appreciation to your spouse even when you don’t feel like it.
Keep sharing pieces of what is happening. If he comes from a very traditional background where the man is the breadwinner and the woman is the family keeper, take things slower with him. It might take some time for him to get used to the idea that you’re taking ownership of income too!
2. Try not to argue.
I know why my husband does not like network marketing. No matter how I explain this is a legit business and not a “pyramid scheme” as he thinks it is. His mind is already made up. He would never go for it himself. His point of view isn’t changing.
Your spouse may try to provoke you to start an argument, don’t get into it.
Chances are there is an underling issue that they’re dealing with…..
- Embarrassment that you (his/her spouse) are in such a horrible business (in their opinion).
- That he/she wants you to say, “you’re right, I quit!” and feels the need to say “I told you so!”
- That he/she really doesn’t want you to have a business at all.
- All of the above.
Arguing about how network marketing is a legit business or how you can prove that you can make decent money some day will not win them over. Just nod and say, “honey, so sorry you feel that way, all I ask is to be supportive of what I enjoy doing. If I find this is a true pyramid scheme, I promise, I’ll totally quit tomorrow. ok?” and walk away.
Unless you are in one of those true pyramid schemes, you know in your heart this is a business you enjoy and can continue. No need to argue with anyone, especially with your spouse. When you start showing results and bringing in decent money, they’ll notice something about you is different and likely become more supportive.
3. Keep Your Finance Open To Your Spouse – no secrets!
One year, I took a huge credit card debt and jumped in on a business coaching program without telling him. I was over-confident that I could just pay off that debt in a short period of time which did not happen. The fact I kept it a secret from him was eating away at me and God was nudging me to confess to my husband. I was ashamed to tell him that I took on this debt and couldn’t pay off within the time period I allotted for myself.
One evening, I finally gathered my courage and confessed to him and asked for his forgiveness for not consulting with him before using the credit. I even told him if he wanted to divorce me I would understand. He was upset and left me with this “I don’t really care what you do with your business, I know you enjoy doing that and you’re good at it. but the thing I don’t like is to be left in the dark.” Bingo! yes, I was leaving him in the dark when it came to my business.
Since then, I have decided to inform him of my financial status even when he doesn’t seem to be listening. It actually has been helping me especially when I am swayed to purchase, yet another course, or sign onto yet another business opportunity, I can just hear him in the back of my head saying NO to me.
There you have it, those are big 3 that have helped my husband and me to be on the same page though he still doesn’t like the idea of me being in the Network Marketing Business.
Do you have an unsupportive spouse? How do you deal with him? I’d love to hear your take on it.
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